Lets Try This again...

YESES!! DAMN SHIT!!

It’s been such a long time since I updated my blog. So may changes have taken place, so much shit happened. Planned and unplanned. Yes I’m one of those people that actually plan shit okay, go be judgmental somewhere else where nobody gives a damn.

Kinda odd, dunno where to start with this updating process. Think I’ll start with uploading posts I never planned to put out, just in case somebody stumbles across them and starts being concerned about my well-being.

Funny enough, the purpose of this blog has changed, was a place for me to vent and all that other bullshit, now it’s just a place to air thoughts (they say talk I don’t enough.

To first time readers, understand, this will be somewhat of a journey (maybe even a rough one, to the sensitive ones) but enjoy. If you don’t, well that’s your problem

Success

Over the last couple weeks me and some friends have been trying to figure out what success really is...

Many of the people that we went to school with are "high rollers" now, you know driving Audi's, BMW's, Range Range Rovers and the works... What is funny these guys are either younger than us, or still studying. (I know you thinking it must be mum & dads money, so do we) but then the guys that are done with the formalities(Studying) are in the same position. So what is success? Coz really i only have one clear definition of what it is.

Success is doing what you want to do, and being happy in the process. That according to me,I'm not the wisest chap out there, but that to me makes sense..

Don't get me wrong, if i was driving a Range Rover I would also be happy, but would I be REALLY HAPPY or happy just for happiness sake?

A Series of Thoughts, an Episode of Emotions

I was never raised around perfection but around hard work and determination, but I grew up around it. This was confusing as I as my own person never knew where I really belonged. This created the adaptable, flexible person that I am. I was always confused between what I wanted to do and what I was expected to do. I could not do what was expected from me, as I was cheating myself as a person and I could not do what I wanted as there were certain expectations and I saw too much disappoint in my lifetime and would rather die than disappoint.
This does say a lot about me, about what I am, who I am, and how I go about doing things.

I guess this made me the person that does not do anything without have any form of ulterior motive, good or bad. This was the only way of fulfilling expectations and personal needs, killing two birds with one funky ass stone.
I guess I never stayed true to myself, or maybe I have finally found myself, who knows...